When I work with women in SouLodge and all along my path, what I hear most is that they’re having interpersonal conflict: with their significant other, with their children, with their co-workers and bosses, with friends, exes. It can be very challenging to get started down your good road when you have baggage dragging behind you cluttering up your relationships. You can divine from the stars, cultivate radical compassion and acceptance, draw from card decks, throw the bones-none of it seems to help when relationships are in a state of imbalance.
The reason why I teach this boundaries stuff is because without them, you can’t be solid in your commitment to Spirit. The reason for this is because you are not yet solid in your commitment to yourself.
Setting limits and boundaries seems kind of like marking your territory, but what it really is about is HONORING YOUR LIFE.
We’re given this time on Earth to live our best lives to the best of our ability, with all of the information that we currently have, at any given moment. When Spirit is calling us to higher purpose and accountability, we want to say yes. Most of us have no choice but to say yes. Spirit is very difficult to say no to. When you set foot on an awakened path, you no longer have the resources or precious time to have relationships unraveling all around you.
Boundaries practice is exactly that: a practice of honoring your life. Putting yourself first so that others will put themselves first, and then you can help each other from a place of having vital energy with which to do so. Releasing expectations of others to know how not to violate your energies by preserving them in a sacred way. Calling in the able guides who will help you stay protected even when you aren’t thinking about it.
Image by Pamela Singh, Chipko Women Hug Tree to Protect it from Being Cut in Northern Uttar Pradesh, 1994