Pixie Lighthorse | Self-Healing Writer

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March 2, 2016

Cleaning, Clearing, Cleansing + Protection

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I’m often asked to share what medicine people actually do. I think the expected answer might be that they perform magical acts, heal spiritual illness on contact, see spirits and talk to them, detect auras and lift curses. Maybe these things happen, I’m not saying that they can’t or don’t. But what comes to mind is that a good healer cleans, clears and cleanses. The Three C’s are repeated to my SouLodge communities and the students of SouLodge Earth Medicine School (who probably get tired of hearing and instructed on).

Healers do their best work in a humble state. There’s not a lot of bravado involved, and if there is, beware. It is physical and energetic housekeeping – dirty work – which makes a healer a proficient healer. There is rolling up of sleeves and hands which become soiled. And so she has to clean herself, as well. Having a rapport with the tools which guide through the Three C’s is important because without them, we are not supported in the work. We can also dedicate ourselves to listening and interpreting the messages and medicine which come to us. Rattles, feathers and other special tools help us do this work.

I think the way to begin is to take a journey into the deeper realms of self, to endure the trials and feel the knowing that one is not alone. It is a default mechanism of being human to *always feel alone*, and this is a great tragedy. There are many ways we can cultivate our own abilities to see, hear and feel so that we can be assured that we are not alone, that we are guided on our journey through life: through our heroic acts, our difficult decisions and our greatest challenges.

I believe that our negative thoughts, particularly those we have about ourselves, leave perforations in our spirit’s matrix, as does fear. It’s been my observation and experience that this is how spiritual illness takes root. If you’ve ever felt anything like “dark energy” or “bad medicine” or had the sensation that something may have “attached” itself to you or someone else, consider that it finds a way into the person when the system is weak or fragile. Not unlike the immune system when suppressed, these holes in the system create harmful inroads for virus and infection. The same holds true for our energetic systems, which become worn down by abuse, self-inflicted wounds, addiction, broken thinking and trauma. Like viruses, it’s hard to trace back an attachment, what works best is to take charge of the situation and remember how to heal oneself. Blaming/pointing fingers or staying away from humankind is not usually the answer.

When we clear off old energies, it’s important to compost them in the Earth for transmutation so that they are not set out in the donation pile to affect an innocent passerby. Do this with meditation and envision the old thinking/being/abuse effects being welcomed into the Earth to be broken down and rebirthed into something positive and useful. You can make creative ritual around this and support your releasings even more.

Address this condition by activating your inner Healer, doing your soulwork, and releasing what is haunting you and still hurting. Strengthen the system. Forgive past mistakes. The best protection is deep self-care and thinking well of yourself and others.

5 Comments

February 22, 2016

De-Stash Medicine Giveaway: Honoring the Medicine

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I doubt generations past had the same tendency to purge with Spring cleaning like ours does. In fact, I have a theory that we are a hoarding culture. We don’t mean to over-collect, but it happens. And yet, we are always searching for medicine which helps and heals, are we not? My remedy for this is to create a sharing community for moving things along when we are not able to honor them. Sort of like Freecycle for wisdom keepers. 🙂

So this is going to be really easy for you:

Medicine Giveaway
I’m de-stashing my vast medicine collection and I want you to stay in touch to see if I have anything you want! It’s all free, even shipping, and I will ship to faraway places! I receive and have collected a tremendous amount of beautiful items from the Earth and the truth is that they are taking over my spaces!

Why am I giving away my medicine?
Well, I’m not giving it *all* away, just what I don’t work with or need.
Because I have a lot, and you might love to work with it and give one of my treasures a new home on your altar or in ritual.
You may know someone who a special something will be perfect for.
The idea is to honor the medicine by keeping it moving and reduce the need for more consumption of finite resources by sharing rather than having to buy.
It’s my experience that special items are even more treasured when they come from a place which has a history of being loved. All items will be smudged before sending to you.

How to Play
Follow me on Instagram where I’ll share 2-3 items per week which are up for grabs.
Comment if you feel a strong call and I’ll select a winner at the end of each giveaway day, then direct message you to get your address and ship it out that week. Pretty simple!

I’m really excited about clearing/cleaning out and giving some of my special items new homes with you!

Love, treasured medicine, and the beauty of a more feminine economy this Spring,

Pixie

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February 15, 2016

Remembering Our Relatedness

Abundance Bootcamp with Buffalo | SouLodge Earth Medicine School

The natural world, far removed from our modern one of plastics, clean, hot running water and every convenience at our fingertips, is always waiting not too far outside the door.

I took a walk in the dark of the clouded-over new moon tonight and asked for guidance: for my health, for the health of my loved ones, for the work that I do, for the people of the world who are hurting. I often receive the same answers: to go deeper into the Earth, to seek the wisdom in her ecology, to understand the messages tucked inside of her soil and to learn from the nature of her complex creatures who are frequently perceived as more simple than we humans.

To be anthropmorphic-to assume that animals have emotions and systems which might mirror ours may seem remedial to some. But to me, being anthropocentric-to assume that animals do not possess emotions, make choices, exert some notion of free will, is more dangerous to Earth’s ecology. We humans are not the only ones which are equipped with advanced operating systems.

Most animals hear with far greater accuracy than we do. Their sensitivities to subtle vibrations in the ground and air prompt them to move or stay still. They see with keener eyes than us, and smell danger or food sources in a way in which we have forgotten. We do not have to utilize this intelligence anymore, much is done for us. Only in our relationships do we show up with some perplexedness about needing to perceive and read signals and signs.

If we can understand that we are related to everything and everyone,

we can bring the same attention and commitment.

We have all but lost our connection to the world in which we live. We have all but sacrificed our intuition, which can guide us when we call upon it to from the depths of our origins. We can remember, and re-member if we want to try, and I think it can help us to reacquaint ourselves with the confidence which is felt when we understand our connection to all living things, including what is happening inside of the Earth and in the Sky.

Spring is coming in the Northern Hemisphere. It can be felt in the warming and the lengthening of the days, and on the breeze. It can be seen when we look beyond our usual range. All of the knowledge of what is coming and what is possible can be sensed when we remember where we came from.

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February 7, 2016

Being Heard in Community: Reform Your Listening Skills

Pixie Lighthorse SouLodge

I am a builder of women’s communities, places live and online where women can feel safe expressing what’s on their hearts and growing their capacities for love and belonging in all directions.

I’m often asked about how to do this, because I consistently ask women to grow their own local circles and seek out face-to-face communion. It’s natural to want to build a circle around common interests, such as creative endeavors, business masterminding, spirited ritual groups, Full Moon circles, etc.

What I’ve found is that what makes a beautiful circle is not that everyone is similar or practices the same faith. What seems to make the most beautiful and sound circles are women who are dedicated listeners. The downfall of many containers happens when folks are not dedicated to listening to one another or unconscious about what it takes to hold a space sacred.

Sacred space begins with intention. When writing a mission for your group or community, and before you consider sending an invitation to gather, consider including values around listening. What would the circle look like in these terms. If there’s a sharing element, will a talking stick be passed around? Will women truly feel heard when sharing their hearts? Will there be structure or parameters on whether or how feedback is given?

The intimacy of the circle of women, and the rate at trust is built among its members seems to determine it’s value. Women will have a tendency to experience a circle as a lifeline if they feel heard, seen and un-judged. Have you ever been in a circle like this? Have you ever had the joy of showing up exactly as you are, with no expectations for you to be “at a certain level” with something? The language with which you build your invitation can help create a foundation for women to feel safe in before they even arrive at the meeting place. Being a student of the School of Good Listening is all it really takes to build beautiful relationships.

It’s important to understand what makes for dedicated listening. In our increasingly distracted environments, it’s easy to become fragmented in our attention spans to the point where the speaker loses the interest of her listener. We’re all guilty of lazy listening from time to time and you might also want to share listening tips with your loved ones so that you can re-culture for listening as a core value at home and when gathering with others.

Consider what erodes satisfying communication:

  • Distractions – Put away media and remember that eye contact counts when listening. Pointing out interesting things while someone is talking can shut all but the most tenacious speakers down. Let the speaker know that they have your undivided attention, especially when her heart is beginning to open up. Try listening with your eyes and see if that helps.
  • Interrupting – Especially in our home lives and with children, it’s easy to get caught up in our own thoughts about what’s being spoken about and begin inserting them into the conversation. These ideas can wait until the speaker has indicated that they are complete. Talking sticks, stones, feathers, or other sacred objects help remind the listeners that the speaker has the floor.
  • Top Dogging – Some folks relate to others by sharing their own stories and sometimes there can be an element of outdoing the speaker. The listener can diminish the speakers account by telling their story which is bigger, better, more unbelievable, more relevant. This type of one-upping is arrogant and another way to shut down a beautiful communication.
  • Boo Birding – Persistent fault-finding with the speaker’s share or trying to “fix” what seems to be her dilemma can feel offensive when feedback and suggestions are not requested. This could be caused by the listeners discomfort or anxiety at the speaker’s share, and it can be helpful to gently remind the listener that one isn’t seeking suggestions or ways to improve the situation. Sometimes folks just need to empty out. It helps us know how we really think and feel about a thing to put it out on the table and receive some empathy around it without being advised.
  • Defending – Some listeners may be too ready to take personally what the speaker is talking about, making projections or assumptions about the dilemma having something to do with them. This bad habit doesn’t give the listener or the speaker a chance to develop an understanding for what’s behind the words. Speakers can bear in mind what kind of language puts a listener on the defensive to avoid this sticky and disappointing conversation. Emotional reactions are sometimes indicative that the listener is bringing something to the conversation which does not belong there.
  • Frame Your Feedback – Framing is a way to help you shine at listening. Paraphrasing what someone has said shows that you heard them, and skills such as, “What I think I heard you say is that…” or, “Let me know if I’m hearing you correctly…”. Framing responses is the sign of someone who cares about whether they heard the speaker and is willing to be humble.

I think the most helpful thing about making listening a high priority in all relationships is to check in with our style of listening and improve it, rather than pointing out to others where they’re failing. Modeling dedicated listening has a magical way of imprinting on others. It feels really good to be heard, and listening is a gift that keeps on giving. It takes time for those around us to create new habits, so patience and gentle requests which are framed with care are needed to transform and make a new way.

Expecting perfect listening is a set up for disaster, so loosen those expectations and be grateful for anyone making an effort.

Dedicated listening invites more intimacy, more trust, more vulnerability, and more empathy. Who couldn’t use more of those things? Know what you need. Ask for what you want.

 

 

Content inspired by SouLodge with Wolf: Honoring Community & Belonging

Image by Morgan Wade

 

4 Comments

January 31, 2016

How Being Like Wolves Can Help Fulfill Our Desire to Belong

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My work with the women of SouLodge and Wolf: Honoring Community & Belonging begins today. There’s still time to jump in if you’re feeling the call to gather and find your voice in community.

Being a builder of women’s communities, I often find it interesting how I carry the assumption that we all have a need for non-judgmental, loving people in our lives. At times, our need for belonging and acceptance even supersedes our need for safety and security, which even Maslow would agree with. This is especially true of teens and their experiences of peer-pressure.

As I meander down the road of human-behavior-meets-spirit, I continually find that people crave community with one another. And yet chronic loneliness is epidemic. One thing I’ve found is that, among women, “needy” is a dirty word.

No one likes someone who comes across needy, but what does that really mean? Could it mean that when we’ve overextended ourselves and our time and resources been exploited that we resent another for us not setting good boundaries?

What I think is totally okay is to be able to admit that we need people. We need their love, their hugs, their attention, their approval, their feedback. In this age of individualism is it not okay to have needs? In a shadow state, it’s easy to connect with the anger we have, or the underlying hurt, of having our needs go unmet or the pain of rejection. It takes us right back to childhood, where generational…er, challenges prevented some parents from creating secure bonds and attachments their children. We might even find ourselves feeling shameful for having needs.

What’s a next good move? Between you and your highest self, it might be wise to admit having needs. Name them, understand where they come from and try to determine how they might best be met by other people in your life you already have a loving exchange with.

In Chris Zydel’s Creative Juices painting classes, she encourages her painters to be “needy, greedy and proud of it.” For this reason, I’ve loved working alongside her, because her leadership is generous of spirit, and she knows in her own wild heart that her painters are there to fulfill a deeply creative need.

Similarly, in SouLodge, our mantra is Know What You Need, and Ask For What You Want. The first step is to know what those needs are and once they become known, we can courageously ask our nearest and dearest to help us out. Asking to be heard or appreciated can make us feel vulnerable, like a turkey with it’s head on the chopping block. If we are rejected, or if someone agrees to commit to a deeper level of love and belonging with us, we will revert back into our solitary caves to endure the broken thought that it will always be this way, that we must deserve it, that maybe we are just freaky and unlovable, or that something about us is distasteful. None of these things are true, but the shadow self makes a very strong case against us, doesn’t it? We will only find ways to meet our needs in communion with sane people if we keep looking and keep believing our kind are out there.

A little training in fair communication, boundaries and conflict resolution and one can be enjoying community in no time. Virtual community is a wonderful start, but nothing beats face-to-face, heart-to-heart connection with people who love you and are loved by you. And the conversation doesn’t end with women-I hear from men very often that they are yearning for ways to connect with one another authentically, too.

Wolves move through conflict quickly. They don’t hold grudges. They don’t posture or practice insecurity-driven bravado. They don’t hide their hurts. They bite back when bitten, but not in an over-reactive manner. They have a complex system of respect and cooperation. They practice exceptionally clear communication through body language and a sophisticated vocabulary. I think we can re-raise ourselves like wolves and shed some light on this loneliness issue in good form.

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January 28, 2016

Giveaway + Building Your Tribe

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard a woman tell me that she didn’t feel good enough to be part of the “cool-kids club” or the clique du jour, I’d be a rich woman.

We have to look at this and talk about:

a) Is this phenomenon really true?

b) Do we need to perpetuate our feelings of not-enoughness?

c) Can we build safe and sacred community that is free of judgment, cross-talk, exclusionary policies, etc. etc. etc.?

I have much to say on the subject.

Wolf is having none of it. While wolves find instinctual reason to leave their packs and begin their own or join up with other mavericks, this can be done with grace and intention as humans. Wolf medicine and the curriculum we’ll be engaged in starting next week will uncover some of the myths about who we are in community and how to address our deep desire to belong.

I believe that the desire to belong is as strong as our need for food, warmth and shelter.

Leave a comment about your experiences in community which you would like to heal and move forward from and shoot for a seat around the sacred fire under the flap this session + share this link in your special social places. OR, head on over to my Instagram account (@pixielighthorse) and share + tag me and say hello.

Good luck! Awrooooooooo!!

 

~

Congratulations to Lakin, Julia, Jen and Meg! Can’t wait to howl it up with you by the fire!

 

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January 26, 2016

Honoring Clarity & Purpose

I took a short sabbatical this weekend- this time to my home state for ocean waves and ceremony to honor a sister making her transition into wisdom keeper.

Traveling corrals my wayward thoughts and so I believe that even if I don’t really want to go I must, because it simply sharpens my focus. It makes visible what gets buried in the day-to-day.

I’ve found that in the air, clarity and vision find a way in. It’s in unplugged space and solitary confinement (in my tiny seat with my bag for a footrest) where I can see the ground beneath me clearly. Decisions are made with ease up there in the Sky Nation. I’ve come to count on it-so I carry with me a list of unresolved questions and dilemmas in my notebook and submit them for review. In the most unexpected ways, they are considered by an yet-to-be-known panel.

While traveling through SeaTac on the way home, I met a woman who was glowing from a training she’d received, and urged me to make sure I connected with him because he would be on my next flight. It was the second of what would be three not-so-coincidental meetups with people I would not have encountered had I not left my nest to go exploring.

“The last forty years have seen a continual rise in people’s interest in traditional cultures that engage with the unseen forces of nature and the spirit beings that inhabit the dreamtime. This fascination with what is called shamanism is occurring in the Western world and seems to be a response to our malnourished spirits that long for connection with the greater web of life and the meaning that comes from that connection. This movement toward spirit is perhaps an evolutionary one, or maybe it is a return to our birthright. Our very DNA has encoded in it a memory of a time when we all lived close to spirit and its individual manifestations.  This form of shamanism, which we all have access to spirit in our everyday lives, is what Eliot Cowan, author of Plant Spirit Medicine, refers to as ‘household shamanism.’ This is not an appropriation of an indigenous culture’s customs or beliefs, but rather is a natural progression of human evolution to live within a spiritual ecology. People working and living in this way are not shamans but instead are those who practice in a shamanic way.”   -Pam Montgomery, Plant Spirit Healing

The journey was nourishing and explorative, connective and rich. I encountered a woman on a creative journey with her art who was needing permission to make a difficult decision, my daughter’s teacher who was on her way home from running a half-marathon and shared parts of her life with me which helped me appreciate her even more. My three minutes with the woman on the train to Terminal C reminded me that there are opportunities to learn deeper and witness miracles when we are open to seeing them in front of us.

All of them helped me clarify that indeed, when we travel out, it is to discover our way in.

Tell me about how you find a way in. I’d love to hear about what works for you.

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January 11, 2016

A Place to Land & Unravel

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The New Year is really happening over here at Soulodge Ranch, where the baby calves are starting to be birthed and jump around like little hyperactive goats on happy juice. It’s cold and sometimes very bright, and this time of year is the very still and quiet time and also the time of new beginnings.

This will get a laugh out of you and anyone who knows a Virgo-my word is EFFICIENCY. It just smacked me when I realized that there are many neglected parts of my business. Business is one of the things I don’t talk about very much, because SouLodge is my life, my art, my way of relating to the world, and where I bring all of my thoughts and heart to the table to share. It’s like a big, open living room where people come and go, where we ask the hard questions, and connect with the ancestors and through prayer, light the candles, and hold hands. So business is not how I think of it.

As our containers and entities grow, there are more details, more stuff, more people to meet with and more decisions to make. More areas to ask for help and hire out the things I’m not good at- like payroll and budgeting, and making sure what I give away is going to a good place where it will be put to good purpose. This is where I’m looking to be stronger.

I get asked a *lot* to talk about what it’s like to be a working mother, technically a single mother, engaging in matters of soul and spirit while trying to manage the resources as best I can. It’s a juggling game and it’s really easy to have that feeling at the end of the day that I just wish I could have done more and with better organization. I live by day under a pile of legal pads all with different headers on floating clipboards, taking them outside and walking around with them (to mix business with pleasure and fresh air), pondering the many ways we humans suffer and what brings real relief and understanding while staying in it. Looking back over my shoulder, I see the ways of my people being so helpful in ways I’m just giving credit to.

One of the kindnesses my ex-husband graces me with from time to time is to notice that I’m always trying to figure out a better way for me so it will be better and easier for others. It makes me smile to hear it because it’s true, and I’m betting that you’re not too unlike me in that sense.

When folks out in the world ask me what I do, I usually tell them that I build communities. Everyone from the CPA to parents at school look at me quizzically because it’s not a job which was listed on all of those forms we had to fill out senior year, and no one really knows what it means.

Have you ever built/wanted to build a safe container for like-hearted souls? I build communities of women so that they have a sweet and comfortable place to go and be heard, and talk about the hard stuff, and also to remind them that their spirits can be found in the Earth right under us-that she is a mirror which shines our own likeness back at us in her plants, her animals, her rocks and trees.

Long ago when I was looking, there was no such comfortable place to land and unravel, dismember and put myself back together again. We have to make these places which we need so much, and trust that they will be filled with cleansing tears and laughter, with new babies and people who truly care.

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January 2, 2016

It Takes Guts

hellooutlawwolf_girl02I’ve heard some folks say that intention is everything. That what you bring to a situation is what will come of it. I believe it to be true. When I feel conscious and intentional about the conversation I’m having, who I want to be in it, and what I want to come of it, it seldom fails to fulfill my expectations. But it doesn’t always work out this way, does it?

In 2015, I did a lot of things for the very first time ever, some with great intention and some reactive to what I was faced with. I’m fortunate to have a council of wise people around me to help me navigate the terrain I’ve not yet traversed. It helps me to feel more confident when I have the wisdom of others who have gone before me. Another helpful tool is calling on the wisdom from deep within, which lies behind all of the ideas which make good sense in the front portion of our minds-that little whisper which always tells the truth about the thing in question which we sometimes don’t listen to.

What I’m looking forward to this year is being able to tune into those whispers and LISTEN to what is behind the loudest promptings. The quieter bits are worth hearing, too. Have you ever found yourself saying, “That’s the last time I don’t listen to my gut,” or “I should have listened to my gut” ?

What is it about our guts that are always so much more truthful than our minds? The enteric nervous system (ENT) was once thought to just control digestion. Recent studies reveal that it’s composed of 500 million neurons and is able to perceive threats and send messages to the brain, but isn’t considered “thinking” as we are accustomed to knowing as the brain’s domain.

If this is true, it’s evidence that we don’t just legislate our actions by thinking them through, that we have legitimate reason for involving our bodies. When we override the body’s influence, we know it. We know it sharp and sudden, and often regret that we didn’t take a more integrative listening approach.

From a medicine perspective, to honor the body’s knowing, as well as considering what we think about a thing-engaging our higher mind, and taking it a step further-calling in outside influences (like we do in prayer and meditation) is to offer ourselves the opportunity to have the full council weigh in. A phrase that makes the rounds is, “Pray on it. See what you think then.” The gift is in allowing aspects of oneself other than just the mind to make decisions.

As we learn to move from our emotions and bodies- the parts of us which remind us we are of the Earth- we honor our innate animal-like qualities of instinct. If we can lean further in and learn to override the informants fear, trauma and past experience, we can hear the whispering voice behind the second level of listening.

This little quiet one is very, very old.

Hers is the voice of who we once were. And still are.

 

Image source

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December 26, 2015

Journey Into 2016

Happy Almost New Year!

I love this time of year- this bonus week to steady ourselves for what’s to come.

I draw cards for each month of the year and an overseeing card to guide them all. What are your rituals for ringing in the New Year?

I also clean, clear and cleanse out my home of things which don’t help my causes or bring me joy with the intention of bringing less in and supporting my mission with only what I need. This always includes less plastic-which is why I made my own tooth powder, dry shampoo and moisturizer recently! (Easy recipes to follow soon!)

Our intentions on this land are being drafted and seed has been put down to restore the ground with valuable nutrients and native plant life as we begin to experiment with all of the ways to cut our water usage and naturally fertilize for erosion control. Not only do I see this as my responsibility as a steward, but I totally geek out on the science of increasing soil carbon and the effect we, the humble gardeners of the Earth, can have on climate change.

I’m also figuring out how to add more household paper to my compost pile, as well as convert the lawn which came with this property to a garden come Spring. So exciting! #foodnotlawns!

Luna loves building hope for the future and promises to do all she can to give back more than she takes. It will be much easier for her than us, but we can do it.

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With all of this doing and being on the Earth, it’s also so important for me to continue building relationships with women in spiritual community through our restorative sessions with SouLodge and a monthly journey practice I’ve just announced called Sisters On A Journey: A Year of Practice. It’s low on time commitment and high on impact. I hope you’ll join me in building the strength of our Light intelligence which radiates out across the planet as we gather and raise our vibrations.

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SouLodge inspires women to find their spirits in the magic of the Earth's generative, creative, mirror.

In solitude, we connect with our inner wisdom and co-create reality with Great Mystery.
In community, we repair our faith in others and reclaim our belonging.
In sacred circle, we declare our truth, share our hearts and affect the planet with our willingness to apply what we've learned.

shamanic-seeing

Learning The Art of Shamanic Seeing

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What Are You Here To Do?

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Beautiful Creatures And Messages Everywhere

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