Each day I wake, I face some fear or another. In checking in with others, I find that we all seem to carry a daily fear, some which subside with a pep talk and others which linger and simply become part of the background landscape as we learn to seamlessly dodge our vulnerabilities.
When my dad got sick last year, I remember feeling a dreadful sense of fear that he would not get well. This feeling has hung on me all year- and when he came to help the Cowboy and I stack 44 tons of hay two weeks ago and landed up having emergency kidney surgery instead– it rushed right up front, and I stared down this fear of losing him again.
Staying connected to our fear (while we are indeed courageous beings who take many leaps of faith and overcome countless limitations) helps us understand who we are as powerless beings. And I think a great many good things can come of that surrender.
One of them has to be finding our medicine while engaging our faith. Accepting that what is to be, will be. Another is the reminder that life is short, always, and that if there is something which you feel strongly called to do, take those steps to do it.
Here are a few things I’ve been wanting to do that I’m bringing back into focus:
(I got to track Mountain Lions many times last year, but you know how I feel about wolves. By the way, have you seen this breaking wolf news??)
Go to Hawaii with my children for two weeks
I am planning this for the Fall, if you know any great places and resources on Kauai! We intend to explore the islands landscape and magical medicine while on a mini-sabbatical.
Speak to large audiences about healing women’s relationships
If you don’t know about the BG Symposium, it will be a beautiful and healing event!
Participate in native plant restoration
Follow my blog to see what this process will look like, as I attempt to restore native species on this beautiful piece of Oregon ground.
What’s shakin’ on your bucket (I actually prefer baskets…) list?
Don’t be afraid to hold fear in one hand and faith in the other.
Image of SouLodge Fire Circle dancers by the illustrious Stacy de la Rosa