Pixie Lighthorse | Self-Healing Writer

Writer: Self-Healing Earth-Centered Books

Learning The Art of Shamanic Seeing

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.” -Marcel Proust

shamanic-seeing
Shamanic seeing is something I teach in all of my trainings.

It is not to resolve a problem with our eyes or our spirituality, but with how we set ourselves up to see what is all around us that often goes unseen. Our psychic abilities catch things on the periphery with senses we still possess, but have forgotten to employ. It requires imagination, creativity, and a desire to experience all of what’s there.

Animal encounters make everything right in my world.

Seeing a wild creature turns my thinking upside-down every time—the sudden realization that the world is made up of more than just us, vrooming along in our cars late to wherever, tapping away at our desks, or sipping away at our lattès. There’s a whole mysterious world out there, unconcerned with what time it is, and whether they will meet their goals.

The art of  “Shamanic Seeing”

What I call Shamanic Seeing is tapping into that mysterious world even in the midst of the daily grind. This is true magic.

  • Where are the messages?
  • What are they saying?
  • How often do the same signs appear?

And most importantly, are you taking the time to “see” the mysterious and magical amid the chaos of your life?

What Are You Here To Do?

Purpose

Do you think it’s possible that our souls come into human form, animate our flesh, grow and develop to express something pretty specific?

Sometimes I meet people who seem right satisfied with their lives because they believe they’re honoring what they came here to do. It’s a strange thought, and I find a strange comfort in it-not the kind of comfort which leads to complacency, the kind that helps keep things simple in your mind when you end your day.

I think there are hundreds, maybe thousands of ways to express what we came here to do. It almost doesn’t matter what shape it’s in-a job you do for money, the way you talk to very old people, how you cook food for your family, the kinds of flowers you grow in the summertime, the pictures you take, the toilets you fix, the way you rally folks and uplift them with your smile.

When I ask what I’m here to do, I get that I’m here to “build the safe spaces”. Hmm.

So much room to grow and live courageously into around that.

How about you?

Beautiful Creatures And Messages Everywhere

beautiful-messages

This beautiful creature is coming around a lot.

Yesterday while hanging a monstrous, thrifted wreath above the door, I knocked a huge set of antlers belonging to my love to the floor.

It split exactly and perfectly in half. Needless to say, I felt awful.

Not long after, we took a dreaming/planning walk in the juniper where this fellow was bedded down. He was lying in the North looking our way, with the mountain that anchors this place visible behind him.

It would seem there is a message in this about the sacred masculine and the reinvention of it.

A new way is being made, and it is wise and strong, anchored and solid.

Integration is happening, and it feels right!

An Overwhelmed Society

overwhelmed society

Each day it comes to my attention how overwhelmed we are as a culture.

I use that word loosely because I see us as modern beings immersed in the popular culture, which is sorely lacking in actual rooted traditions and rituals that are life-preserving and sustainable.

The truth is that we can’t “make it great again,” (whatever that actually means). There is no *make it like it was* formula that will help us deal with the nervous system’s hyper-stimulation that results from simply living in the developed world.

What we can do, thankfully, is listen to our bodies and take cues from the past that really worked. We can bring them forward in an integrated way that works today and adapt our personal and internal resources so we are not made a victim of the conditions in which we live.

We can ground when we get spun out, and reach up and out when we are heavy and bogged down.

We can treat natural resources as well as time, energy, money, community, and love as precious and not let them leak away like water from a broken faucet.

We can understand that our souls have specific markers: gifts and specialties that desire expression and to be played out in our daily lives.

Eclipse Possibilities

The upcoming total solar eclipse is creating quite a stir among populations who look to the stars and sky for inspiration and growth opportunities. It makes perfect sense, given that rare occasions like these, happening at potent astrological times (sun transiting into Leo and out into Virgo during the full moon cycle in which there is a partial lunar eclipse) ripen us for big shifts in thinking and being.

For me personally, it signifies a time of amplification: of my highly-sensitive tendencies, of perception, of observing my habits of being and doing, and how I’m showing up in the world. A period of amplification means that I feel everything more acutely-my antennae are at full-mast, taking it all in, sensing what is out of alignment, what is uncomfortable and what helps me radiate my full potential. Overworking, for example, doesn’t increase my vitality and radiance (nod from Leo). Working enough on the projects that are a good match for my gifts, however, does. Showing up intimately for my family, especially the feels of my children, is proving worthwhile. Both of them, but particularly my daughter, seem especially emotional and prone to overwhelming bouts of neediness right now. Cancelling plans and sitting close to home at full attention is what I’ve found myself doing more than usual.

Eclipses also signal realignment: my spine and neck are telling a story of holding. There are vertebrae which are out, and my hormones, thoughts, and brain function have been a bit glitchy. Moving my body has become priority number one as I answer the invitation to become more aligned with what my spirit was made to do here on earth during this lifetime.

I’m feeling a deep call to nourish and nurture: to up my self-care game so that I can be more confident in my personal energy and also show up to the communities and people who count on me. Our moon signs show us how we like to be nourished and nurtured, loved by our intimates. My moon sign is in Leo, and that sometimes means I like to be seen and heard when I am exuding my radiance. Sounds funny to write, but it’s true. When I am refueling and restoring, I like to hide in a cool, dark cave.

I’m writing a book about grief right between these two eclipse events- Prayers of Honoring Grief, to be exact, which is in embryonic state at present. It will have it’s vital organs and skeleton developed by the time the solar eclipse occurs. This wasn’t foreseen when I put the dates aside, it was a matter of working on the project before my children went back to school and while I could claim some good weather days on a lake in the middle of nowhere to feel my way through my own untended griefs, while tapping into the language which can be meaningful for those who will be called to read it. Now I see that it is a power time for me to bring this work to life-just in the midst of a period which calls for sweet and serious honoring of all that really is, in order to move forward in a secure way.

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Defense Against Dark Energy

I’m often asked how one can be protected from “dark energies”, there being many theories about how energy is transferred, emotional vampirism, the enmeshing drama of addiction, entities, possessions, sticky passengers, spirits who haven’t released their attachment to the earth or have not been welcomed into another dimension yet. Dark energies are better described as negative forces or negative energy.

The first step I can offer is to build your resilience from the inside out. A flimsy foundation will not help a house stand in a strong wind.

A personal story may help to demonstrate:

Once I was horseback riding with my sweetheart. It was his birthday and we were asked to ride around where a mama mountain lion had been seen with two kittens: to bring the dogs, to pee on the land and help her relocate for a short period of time while a special event took place. We entered through a keyhole which opened to a wooded area and followed it around the perimeter with the intention of making a circle and back out the way we came.

Half way around the circle, I was gushing tears. The thoughts in my mind were inorganically erosive, tearing down what I later referred to as the seven entry points: attacking who I was as a mother, a daughter, a lover, a friend, a co-parent, a teacher, and a woman.

At first, the thoughts were momentary insecurities, grounded in recent events from memory. Very quickly they devolved, digging mercilessly into my history and began ripping at the pages of my life, showing me the mistakes I’d made and how undeserving I would be of the love and life I thought I was building. What an inconvenient time to spring up, for the floodgates to open and to feel so vulnerable! The land we rode on was held sacred by many, and not knowing the history of the area, I began to question whether there was a co-creation of negativity occurring between myself and the spirits who possibly still inhabited the land.

What I knew for sure was that I didn’t feel at all safe. In fact, I felt under siege and I didn’t know exactly how to fend off what was coming at me-and whether it was internally manifested or externally, whether valid or needing to be dismissed.

There is a tendency is to blame what is outside of us: other people, a place, for the chills that run up our spines when we engage with negative sensations. We get a funky feeling and as we work through it to determine what is eating at our core stabilizers, we discover a desire to quickly place it somewhere. Our brains seek to organize the cause, and either we will be to blame (fulfilling our fears) or the something else will (causing reactions to fight or flee).

When we reached the opening to the forest again, after processing a bit of what was happening in the most observant way I could with my mate, I dismounted and made prayers on the ground for the security of the land, the creatures and the people on it. Still not certain of what I was sensing so strongly, and in quite an emotional state, I created a small circle of juniper berries and poured the rest of my water in it to create a drain. I swept myself off with a broom of plants I quickly made and then placed it inside the small circle. Mountain Lion was once again working her magic on me: a test of my foundation and how I would handle an unexpected big wave of negativity.

I have thought for many years about what might have been at work on this particular day, and have reflected on what it felt like to be “under attack” so intimately, in all of my soft places. It would be easy to say that it was an outside offender, and possibly, depending on one’s maturity and willingness to stand up to the shadows, just as easy to allow myself to believe the lies and come crumbling down. Either way in this line of thinking, someone has to pay.

Once home, I smudged, disrobed, stood on the steps and allowed the high winds to blow through and over me. I considered burning my clothes. I was hesitant to go inside the house as I continued to investigate what was happening. Was it something I could carry in with me? Within an hour or so, the worst of the sensations had passed. I took a salty shower, re-hydrated, brushed off and flushed out with more plants, until I felt like myself again.

These archetypal battles with the shadows are meant to be faced. We do not know when it will happen, and most commonly, you cannot do much to prepare except to have a plan for how you want to be during and on the other side of it. While I wouldn’t want to invite these experiences to me, I am grateful for the opportunity to put my tools to work, and to allow my higher mind to be a part of it, too. What builds good boundaries is having them tested in unwanted ways and passing.

Questions to consider:

What light have you been tending that you might use it as a resource during difficult times?

What do you have to fight back with?

How willing are you to build strong foundations under yourself?

What is the tone of your quiet inner dialogues on gloomy or big wave days?

Is it important to identify the cause, or is it of more value to focus all efforts on overcoming it?

Boundaries & Protection is foundational soul work we engage in to neutralize the effects of natural and seemingly unnatural occurrences of negativity-coming from inside and outside of us. What we know is that it exists, and there are many ways to become sturdy for when it comes calling.

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Does Mother’s Day Trigger You?

Mother’s Day can be a triggersome holiday for mothers, fathers, the motherless, the childless, wounded parents and wounded children still finding their way through the Mother-labyrinth.

Honoring our primary connection is not really so much about flowers and brunch in our Sunday best. It’s far more emotional. Let’s see what can be done to ease the intensity of what can sometimes be a loaded time of yearning and revisitation of pain at a national level. Mama Virgo has a plan.

Have you ever spent the holiday wanting something more from your loved ones around the mother piece? It’s not an easy day for me and many I know. Collectively, there are some wounds which seem to rear up right about now. Breathe easy knowing you are not alone.

Start the week with the prayer below.

Remember that you are sacred, my friend.

The archetypal Mother nurtures, guides, protects and nourishes.

If you love nature, the Divine Mother is always ready to celebrate with you. The world needs a lot of mothers. Not all-good, fairy-tale mothers, but real, good-enough mothers (who are frequently trying to Find Their Keys). She has a beautiful way of comforting us and exampling.

We began a new tradition a few years ago after a randy bull poked through our back fence and my idealized day of togetherness was botched. Mother’s Day hell had broken loose.

It was quite hilarious after hard moments of trying to reconcile what I wanted with what was instead unfolding. We did well by creating a do-over. That meant setting aside a future day to celebrate. So hard in the moment and so easy once we declared it was necessary. Those tight moments can be so hard.

I also realized in this process that I actually need to tell my people EXACTLY how I wanted to be celebrated.

Um, what?
Didn’t they KNOW me?
Did I seriously have to explain it all to them?
Wouldn’t that take the fun out of it?

With the broken-fence buzzkill upon me, I decided to be more responsible for how I wanted to be honored. I discovered that it’s actually okay for there to be a day that was ALL ABOUT ME, which was a level of intimacy I had a hard time asking for.

Consider this to make progress:
Can you enjoy a day that’s all about you?
What comes up when you imagine it?
Do you try to squirm out of it?
How do you like to be honored?
Do you like prosy cards or breakfast in bed?
Someone else to cook? What foods?
Do you like rounds of appreciations to be given to you?
Do you want to talk about the demands and joys of being the nourisher?
Will you make the time to share your dreams?
Are you willing to make it easier on your people who may want very much to help you feel honored by telling them what you think would make a beautiful and special Mother’s Day?
Are you willing to create it for yourself?

I hope that it will be possible to have an amazing celebration no matter the circumstances!

If Mother’s Day is full of triggers beyond setting up a satisfying day, consider walking yourself through Part One of Transforming the Mother Wound, now available as a self-study PDF.
There’s a beautiful seed planting ritual at the end, perfect for spending Mother’s Day planting new ways of nurturing, guiding, protecting and nourishing.
Enjoy 20% off through May 15th with SOULODGE20

Sending hugs throughout the blogosphere..xo

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Finding the Keys

Around here, about ten minutes before leaving, anyone within earshot can hear me ask if they’ve seen my keys. It has always been this way. Even when I put a fancy little hook next to the door.

When I decided to sit in circle with my teacher and sisters what seems like eons ago, I had an expectation that I would learn some magical tools so that I could be a better healer. What I didn’t know is that I’d need to learn to apply them to my own life, and to do that meant I was going to be in the hot seat. What the hot seat looked like was walking into a beautifully-held space every month for a day-long training in learning how to look to the tools and be shown how to cope with my unmanageable life. What’s this? I wasn’t going to learn to bend spoons with my concentrated thoughts?!

Exactly not. The tools provided (and still do, as more show up all the time) a way for me to creatively problem solve my own issues, while knowing when to get humble and ask for help. It was not the magic I was expecting, and yet, I showed up each month with my lunch and my journal, a tiny altar of grabbed-on-the-way-out-the-door items. My little power objects would be expected to support me in my tiny space from which I would travel in and out of the portal to gather “medicine” to bring back to the hearth.

Where was the hearth? It was my own heart. Another unexpected. Why was this all so simple? And why was it sometimes so dark and messy in there?

My teacher said, “If you can heal your heart, you can heal the world.”

I still didn’t get it. And would I ever get to the end of it? As soon as I unearthed something big and felt things upshift, debris let loose, the dance of celebration commenced, I would be shown yet ANOTHER area which needed tending. It began to feel like herding cats. I soon discovered that there was actually no expected end to “the work”, because apparently our souls are just that deep. And life continually shows us that if we want to dig further, well, “Here is a sturdy shovel, Child”. There is no bottom that I have seen. No place to arrive and plant my flag down victoriously.

Many times, I asked myself what the heck the point of all of this was. Even when it was obvious that I wasn’t coping with what was happening to me, I didn’t put it together that this is what the tools are for. Working with them was not going to look like bending spoons or levitation for me, nor would they give me letters to put behind my name. They were going to look like me letting myself out of my own dungeon again and again and again.

They were going to help me care enough about myself to dedicate all of my days to finding every key and to try all of the locks.

Eventually, I would help others locate their keys, too, with the divining rods I’d had success with.

Each time I take up the hunt for my car keys, wondering if I’ll be late again, the metaphor is not lost on me. When my excitement increases and I’m rustling through pockets and clearing the desktop, I am reminded that looking for my keys so I can move forward when it’s time to go is a lifetime pursuit.

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Earth Medicine for Beginners

Earth Medicine can be an overwhelming concept for newcomers to this site, I am coming to realize. What begins as a search for a teacher or someone to guide you deeper into the magnificent ecology of yourself for healing can be an intimidating task and a tall order.

When I was looking for a teacher in 1999, I had no idea she would turn up in the form she did. She appeared in 2003, graceful and stoic, black hair to her waist, and dressed like a medicine woman. I had dabbled with wisdom teachers for years and what turned me off to long term study with them was that they approached healing from a masculine standpoint. I wouldn’t have the language for that for many more years to come. Irene was all feminine, and all goddess. She would be the mother who would help me rebirth myself into who I am today.

What made her a life-changing teacher was that she was patient. She allowed each of us in her circle to be exactly who we were: wounded, intuitive, ecologically-minded, animal-loving, spiritual naturalists without much clue how to express ourselves from these places.

We sat regularly and eagerly with her for nine years, just working with the matter of our own souls. It brings tears to my eyes to write about her because during those years, I had no idea I would follow in her footsteps. Her words of encouragement echo in my mind as I continue on this journey, reminding me that I have what it takes to honor myself, honor others, and honor the Earth.

She took a lot of heat from other teachers, and sometimes students, too. When faced with push-back, I saw that it hurt her. I looked up to her, and also, she was a human with feelings. She was a superhero who battled her own dragons while holding the hands of others doing the same, sometimes encountering darkness that would upset her basket and require her to do her own soulwork. She was humble and grateful for her life and work every day I saw her.

Back in those days, we didn’t say Earth Medicine. We were living it-working with the tools and mirrors the Earth presented to us. Gifts of medicine came in the form of roadkill owls, river rocks and garden weeds. We opened portals of the imagination which led into our souls.

Our soul work was determined by the themed issues that seemed present for all of us, but our individual issues were our main focus. Relationships, grief, loss, infertility, divorce, community, total work and life-overhauls-these were the things we showed up with monthly, begging for the spiritual wisdom to be shared with us. Irene turned us back to ourselves every time. She would softly nod and smile and say, “You know.” The way she said it built confidence in us, but it would take years for me to believe her.

The beginning is a humble place. We seek to rush to the results. However, the path tends to unfold one stone at a time, and sometimes we need a slightly wiser hand to hold while we take our first wobbly steps. It might call us through the work we’re already doing, or present itself as a knock on our consciousness one morning over coffee. Where I began was as a curious twenty-something, in love with the Earth, having looked to nature for comfort and holy reset. I had no words to describe what I was looking for. Many years after departing from her tutelage, I would hear the words “the magic happens in the conversation”.

This is what she offered me: a warm and welcoming circle and the tools to travel into myself, so that I might learn to trust myself and then give back to others in the way she was doing for me.

Seeking Out the Sacred

Pixie Lighthorse | Seek the Sacred from Pixie Lighthorse on Vimeo.

I’m so grateful to do what I do. Granted, it’s not all sunny porches and quiet juniper berry-picking around here. Sometimes it’s navigating difficult choices, conflicts, disasters and trying to understand where I need strengthening. Life is not a static state of contentment. The reality is that it challenges most of us. Not one person is without a struggle, or many. Integrating Earth Medicine into my everyday world of relationships, business, writing, parenting means that I have an extension of natural tools as well as simple metaphors for living more easefully amidst the chaos of modern life.

I was asked recently what my “theory” was. I came up with this:

The Earth is a mirror.

And a beautiful mirror she is, showing us everything we need to know about being human animals here. Every creature, plant, geologic formation, and cloud shows us what is in our nature, too. Complex and interconnected, diverse and biodynamic, she’s given me all of my most important lessons in her simple language of breeze and butterfly. She shows us collectively where we can improve in the way we care for ourselves, where we are exploiting our energies, acting unconsciously and devaluing ourselves.

Gabriel of Ghost Village Films and I decided to work together to try to find a way to express in film what I felt inside of me. Above is our first attempt at communicating the world through my eyes, entitled Seeking Out the Sacred. I hope you love it as much as we loved making it.